Everyone who has been in a relationship or marriage more than 3 or 4 years would accept if I say that romance takes a huge back step when the relationship keeps growing old. Everything else will look important other than your relationship or romantic encounters. You will have to be ready for monotony and mundaneness, not to forget the countless arguments and fights that will also peep out. But, there is definitely still love that will exist even after all these crazy fights, arguments and endless hatred towards each other. Even after all this, you will feel the need to love him unconditionally. There will be hesitant in that. But, there are some unpleasant realities that you have to accept for an everlasting love. It may hurt, it may scare the bejesus out of you, but trust us when we say this – This shall pass too. Here are some unpleasant realities that you should start accepting so that it will make things easier for you and give you the feel of everlasting love.
Things you should accept about your partner for an everlasting love
1Accepting their traits
Yes, you love your partner and so does he, but what is the deal with not accepting his traits? When you start living with him, you will find a lot of things that will irritate you. You cannot demand him to come out any time you want like how it used to happen before marriage. Priorities have changed for him and he is probably looking at setting a life for which he might want to earn. So, don’t expect him to come out every time you call him. Accept whatever he has to offer to you in terms of character. You have the rights to fight with him for the same, but pick your battles accordingly.
2Physical attraction issues
You don’t have to think that you are undergoing a problem, because you don’t feel physically inclined to him for a day or two. On the day you don’t feel the passion or spark, or if you want to be let alone, tell him that you just want to snuggle and don’t feel like doing anything more than that. He will understand that for sure. This should be reciprocated when he feels the same too.
3You might feel hatred, agitation and irritation
Some dark days will make you feel a little much more than anger. You might not want to see his face, you may want to throw things at him and not even feel him next to you. Yes, all of this is possible in any relationship. Wait for a moment and think about all those days, you have spent hating your parents for some decision or the fights with your sibling. It’s the same kind of feeling with your partner too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love. It just means you don’t like him for that very moment or situation. It is normal and totally acceptable. Don’t blame yourself for the feeling because that shall pass too.
4You may want to cheat
Yes, this is sometimes acceptable, but most of the times a big No, because you shouldn’t be regretting anything for the future. If you know that you are in limits, then talking to your ex boyfriend or talking to some guys is fine. That is just to make you feel better about yourself. But, don’t do that too much. You should also think how you’d feel if your partner went around talking to others.
5You may not love him
Things may be rough, there could be days when you think you don’t love him, but that is just the repercussions of what you have been feeling or going through. There is nothing worse than not loving your partner. So, think about it. Do you not love him at all or is it the situation that making you feels so? If it is the situation, things will turn around. Keeping aside all the situations, even then if you don’t love him, that is something you should think about separately.
[Also know – How to come out of a toxic relationship]
6Doubting your choices
Yes, this will happen very much. Doesn’t matter if yours is an arranged marriage or love marriage, you will have your doubts about the choices you have made. That is when you should tell yourself that this is not your original feeling. It’s the fights that are talking or thinking for you.
7Lies follow
You will start lying about random things and both of you will to this. It is humane to lie. So, don’t make it a huge thing and blow it up.
8Something more than love
Just love for each other is never going to work because you are not Romeo Juliet for god’s sake. You need a lot of patience, some sacrifice and a lot of understanding of each other to work things out for the long run. Their could be easily 60 years ahead of you and you may have to strive very, very hard to fight for your love and relationship.
9Things will gradually fall in place
There is always time for everything to fall in its place. You just need to be extremely patient and not give up on your partner just like that. Fights are a part of the relationship that you have signed for and you have taken an oath in front of god, so stick to all of that. More than anything, you are going to regret if you don’t try as much as you can.
-Pavithra Ravi
