Teenage days are the most difficult years for your child and as a parent, you ought to understand this particular phase of your child. But, not many parents understand and appreciate the difference they see in their children’s behavior both physically and emotionally. It is for this reason that learning, reading and researching about parenting teenagers can help you as a parent.
Every parent matures when the child grows. So, it is utmost important that you pay heed to your child’s actions and reactions. Statements like “give me my space”, “no one likes me”, “I need to be in that group”, “you will never understand what I say mum and dad” rise up from your teenager. This is where you play the trick not to analyze much about what’s happening to him/her. You just have to play an objective judge here. You ought to understand what your child is undergoing and it is always better to stand in his/her own shoes to understand this.
Hence, these parenting tips for teenagers will help one sail through and also help them build a bond for life with their kids.
Ways to Avoid the Teenage Problems
1Problem Solver
Every parent should remember that she has an adult in the making. Your child bridges the gap between his emotional and physical self and is probably finding answers for his hormonal changes in him. Teenagers don’t expect you to be a problem solver for them now. All they want you to do is try and understand and firstly listen to what they talk.
If you try to come up with solutions for your child’s problems, he will think that you are stepping over the edge. You need to be a great listener to be a good parent. You have to ask him politely but also put forward your opinions, about the happenings. Ask him ‘is there anything you wish to talk about, honey’ or ‘Is everything ok?” and that is what he expects from you. Listening is the first step to being a good parent.
2Rescuer
There are problems in every person’s life and your teenager is probably not aware of this yet. For him, his problem is the focus and so, he gets tensed about it. Understanding this will in fact help you be his guardian angel. You have got to make your child feels self reliant instead of you being his confidante.
Involve him in his decisions instead of being the decision maker of his problems. You got to understand that your child is probably facing something very small and he has to understand this the best. Ask him what can be done or what he thinks is the solution for him. Involve him and then come to conclusions. This will surely open more doors for him being friendly with you and that is exactly what good parenting is all about.
3Expecting To Choose Career
Understood is the fact that it is a real tough and competitive world out there and as parents, one would want their children to excel in their lives. However, teenage is not a time to choose a career, it is the time for your child to explore. Pressurizing him to choose a career now would only confuse him more.
Hence, let the child do all the exploring bit when it comes to choosing a career. It would be a good idea if you could suggest your kid to work as an intern in an organization so he learns what he wants to do. Let him explore his area of interest. That will be the best decision of your child’s career life. Remember, they have ample time. This is not the time to push.
4Being Rigid
Well, if you want to teach something, remember that teaching it in a hard way will only make things worse. It is a big No-No to be rigid when it comes to teenagers. You could solve problems in a much simpler way than being tough with your kid. The idea here should be about the balancing act between being firm and handling such situations. If your child is not budging, make him understand the various negatives of his requirement if you find it unnecessary.
5Un-kept Promises
Making promises are fine. But if you are doing it to escape an unsolved situation, then you are teaching the wrong values to your kids. Obviously, your kid will stop trusting you if you start giving him false promises. This could turn out to be a knife to your back and it is not doing any good to you as a parent.
If you know, you can’t get him something or if you are avoiding something, tell it to him that it will not happen. It is way better than actually promising him that you would do it later. Setting teenager’s expectation is important and setting it right is even more important.
It is important that you handle your teenager with utmost care. He is in a vulnerable age and you don’t want to mess with his feelings. Yes, he is finding it difficult, but trust us, he will come out and find a way for himself. If you want to help him, do it subtly since he knows you are trying to help him and not hover him with too much love and support.
These golden rules will help you help your teenager and get him out of his fix.
Happy Parenting!
-Pavithra Ravi
