Parenting might get tricky once your child enters the adolescence. Just like you did, they also go through many hormonal changes which affects them in different ways. This is the period when you can intervene and your behavior towards them will determine what kind of a person they will become. One wrong step can make your child go into the wrong direction. Being careful and ensuring flexibility will allow them to have confidence in every aspect. You need to become their friend. Here are few things you can do to become your teenagers friend.
Ways To Become Your Teenagers Friend
1Gain Their Trust
The first step is to get your child to trust you. Communicate with your child and know them better. Always try to understand them. You should earn their trust, and if they begin to trust you, never-ever let them down. In order to become trustworthy, you start at a normal pace by sharing your own life’s moments with them. If you have a great story about your teenage, tell them! Make them comfortable around you by, not being strict. When you talk to them and share your stories, they start to relate and will begin to trust you.
2Keep Their Secrets and Share yours
If your child trusts you, he or she will always come to you to talk his or her heart out. They will tell you stuff which you must keep to yourself. You should understand while they talk, if it’s supposed to be a secret or a normal thing. Do not wait for them to tell ‘its a secret mom’. The more you will understand them and their thinking process the better you become your teenager’s friend. Don’t just limit yourself to hiding their secrets, share some of yours too. In this process, you are gaining their confidence. They will be assured of your support and will always tell you everything.
3Be the best listener
Only talking with your child all the time won’t help, you should also be a patient listener. Never judge them for whatever they tell you. It might be totally irrelevant according to your understanding, but you still have to listen and wait till they finish. You can always put forth your opinion later, but always try to understand their point of view. The better a listener, you will be the closer you get to your child.
4Question in the right way
Continuous questioning can get anyone annoyed be it an adult or a teenager. If you want to know something, be very wise in the way you ask them about it. Never question them in an interrogative tone. The moment you get interrogative, they will start lying assuming that you will not understand them. So, be calm and cool ask questions which will not scare them.
5Discuss what they want
If they come to you with a problem, always make sure that you get all the facts right. While giving them a solution discuss with them what they want as the output of the situation. Know, if your solution will make them satisfied or not. Not that your solutions should always be in their favor but, they should understand that it is the best solution.
6Opt for guidelines over rules
Controlling your child’s activities is important, but rules will just make it too strict. Remember, you are trying to be their friend not a commander. This is where the strict parents go wrong, they make rules and control each and every movement of their children. This has just produces the best liars. If you stop them from doing certain things, they will make other ways of doing it. It’s always better to have a transparent relationship with your child.
Give them guidelines, instruct them about how far they can go in order to do something. Guidelines will always keep them alert and prevent them from crossing limits. The rules would just make you a commander and guess what, they will always lie to you.
7Spend time with them
It is very important for you to hang out and spend quality time with them. This allows you to know them better. You can go shopping, cook or watch their kind of movie with them, then have a chat over some ice cream. Spending this time will keep you connected with them. This gives both of you the time to know what’s going on in their life and tell them about yours.
A free flow of communication with the right amount of understanding, will allow you to become your teenager’s friend. Having this special bond with them, will allow them to trust and come to you when required. You can always gain their trust and build up a perfect relationship with them. Your children are your reflection in many ways, ignoring them in their teenage or giving them too much freedom will always mold their personalities in a negative way.
Your relationship with them should be transparent. If it is not like that, your kids will hesitate to make you a part of their important decisions.They will hide major parts of their life from you. Further, your parenting style will also effect your child’s self-confidence, making them have a major identity crisis in life. As a parent of a teen, you should try not to be over protective. And also always give them all the space they need. Just because you became their friend, does not mean that you should always stick to them. That will again give them the chance to hide stuff and lie to you. So, you can try not to interfere too much.
Get your young one to be your friend..!!
By- Roseleen Aind.