What to do when your boyfriend needs space


A relationship could go to a level when your boyfriend act aloof, weird and hints you in all possible ways that he needs space. Physical and mental space is very important in a relationship. But most girls actually mistake it to wanting a breakup. The girls freak out, presume a lot on this and conclude things, which are not even close to what the guy actually said. Sometimes, needing space could be very genuine and innocent. Maybe they really want some physical distance from you because of various reasons. You may have spent a lot of time together, hanging around each other and now he wants a small break from the routine. As much as you love your boyfriend’s company and him per se, you need to give him the feel that he can be on his own too.

Men tend to feel insecure in a relationship very easily and it could be a natural process for them to want to feel left alone. This doesn’t mean they want to end the relationship. Here are some relationship tips you need to follow when your boyfriend needs space or asking for space.

Top Things To Do When Boyfriend Asks For Space

1Do not freak out

Do not freak out

The first thing every girl does is, freak out! Do not tense up yourself the minute he says he wants space from you or doesn’t want to talk for a while. It is totally fine and freaking out is not an option. Yes, this statement has a very negative energy towards your relationship. Accepted! But, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to break up with you. Before you turn on your panic mode, try to figure out what went wrong and analyze how things ended up here. Panicking or freaking out will only make you take bad decisions and would affect your perfect relationship.

2Question the situation

Question the situation

Before you ask him anything, try to question yourself. Have you guys been spending way too much time with each other? Do you meet every day in order to see each other? Have you stopped going out with your other friends just to be by yourselves? If your answer to any of the above is yes, then space is not a bad idea at all. Let’s face it, even you are bored of the same company but aren’t open about it because girls don’t tend to get bored easily. But guys do! Therefore, it comes out of their mouths first that they need space. If your answer to the above questions is a no, then that is a completely different issue. As long as you are in the former situation, you are safe for a space-time.

3Have ‘The talk’

Have The talk

Talk to your boyfriend about what he requires and what he means by needing space. The only way you will know anything further in the relationship is when you talk to the person. Otherwise, you are left with confusions and are not concrete on what to decide. Ask him questions like ‘if he wants to hang out less’? Stop talking for a while? Does he want to go on a break? You need to be true to your emotions and ask him whatever you feel like. Unless you get clarity, it isn’t right to let go of it.

4Figure out and ask yourself

ask yourself

The relationship is not just about your boyfriend. It is much about you too, so start looking for questions that involve you as well. You can definitely alter the small things in your relationship like talking less everyday on the phone, meeting twice a week only or hanging out more with his guy friends etc. But, you need to ask yourself a series of questions on what you want to do in life too. If you feel your boyfriend is taking space for a relationship that is already filled only with space, then his intentions are not on taking space. It’s on breaking up with you. This is how you find the difference between genuine space and wanting to break up.

5Give him what he asked

Give him what he asked

Give him an actual emotional and physical space. If you have agreed to go ahead with giving your boyfriend what he wants, then just face it and go ahead. Make plans that don’t involve him. Hang out with your friends and don’t call him as much as you used to. It may get annoying for the guy if you give him space for 2 days and then go back showering him with love and cuddles. He wouldn’t want that. Unless he comes back, don’t try to disturb him. He sure will get back to you when he misses you. Until then, be patient.

6Focus on yourself

Focus on yourself

Take time and focus on what you always wanted to do, this is the time you take for yourself. Hang out with your friends, meet your family, go on an all girls trip and forget you have a boyfriend for some days. Put a positive spin on your life. You can do whatever you want to swimming, dancing, taking up classes, going on a diet or whatever interests you. It is good to be away from the boyfriend thoughts for a while because you owe yourself a ‘you’ time.

7Patience is virtue

Patience is virtue

It could be one of the toughest times for you. Agreed! But, being patient could make your relationship even better once he gets back to you. If you think your relationship is worth it, then waiting is the right choice. Instead of indulging into a waiting phase, pan your time and keep yourself busy. Let him do his work and you do yours.

8Finally, trust your gut

trust your gut

Trusting yourself would be the final thing you do to get a hold on your relationship. If you think taking and giving space is the right decision, great! But, if you are finding something empty and not able to comprehend if the decision is right or wrong, then you’ve got to get out and talk about your situation.

Every relationship works differently and all these above tips are very objective. Some couples don’t even need the space mentioned and some couples need extra work on their relationship. Work things out according to your pace and finally do not freak out about anything. If it is worth it, it will stay. Otherwise, you have a better someone out there. Remember, there will always be a silver lining in the black cloud!

-Pavithra Ravi

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