Parents manage to do everything for their kids well being and comfort. Parents relationship also comes into parenting. The way a married couple treat each other impacts child’s mind. If you parents are unhappy, then it impacts kids mind, mood and everything too. Now, counting this point, you must think if you are parenting is going well or not.
You may think, how children are affected with your fights. There is a direct impact and you have no idea how bad it is. It can ruin your child’s childhood. Not only parents, even other family members must be mindful about it.
Know how fighting in front of children will impact them and improve your parenting for your child to have a lovely childhood.
What happens when you fight in front your child?
Children are sensitive and they are not fully matured to understand relationships. The young minds are yet to know the reality about relationship and complications in life. You will know in detail further, so keep reading how parents fighting impacts child.
1. Mental stress
Children may not come up to you and share their stress but they go through it inside. When parents are fighting in front of children, they will know that everything that is going at home is unhappy.
Children remember what they hear and see but they cannot understand the situation clearly. This also creates confusion for them and they start to over think about things. This leads to kids stress which also becomes difficult for you to find it.
It is upsetting when we expect cheering faces but to find arguments and anger. If we adults feel upset, then what about the little ones?
2. No focus on studies
Children need happy and peaceful space to focus on studies. If your child is in primary schooling, then don’t even expect him/her to take what is going on at home.
The little ones need clear mind to focus on their studies. Until you can create a peaceful environment, you cannot expect them to do well in studies. The impact that is creating now will also continue in long run.
If children lose interest in studies at younger age, it will hard for them to pick up in further standards even if you try harder. And parents cant pressure kids at later point as the base was not right.
3. Unpleasant environment
When you have long day, how you expect your house to be? Obviously we want pleasant and happy environment. Not only adults, even kids go through some kind of stress which can be with studies, friends and other factors.
When kids see their parents fighting, it adds up on. This makes it unpleasant for them to stay at home.
Do you think, it is hard to make your home a sweet home? At least for you kids, you must make it possible. To raise a happy kid, you must always have pleasant home. The positive atmosphere at home helps your kids to see and feel good.
4. Behavior problems
When you are fighting in front of your children, it affects their behaviour. Children don’t learn things from elders but they imitate. So, they get see your aggression, anger and hear your arguments when you are fighting.
They will imitate your behaviour which they fixed in their minds. Your behaviour impacts your kids majorly. When they have to talk, they start shouting, they behave stubborn and respond vaguely. All these behaviour changes and problems come from parents. Indirectly, parents are the reason for children’s behaviour.
You are a sweet and kind person in normal situations. But kids may not remember your good side, they may catch hold the bad side of you. This also impacts their social behaviour like mingling with other kids and mates. So, fighting in front your kids is a big no.
5. They feel insecure
Children feel insecure when they find their parents fighting often. The situation at home becomes unpredictable for them. This also develops fear in them.
When they feel insecure at home itself, they lose confidence to face the world. It is in parents hands, to make their children feel secured. Children above 10 also worry about parents separation and divorce. So, before creating this insecure feeling, parents must find a solution to sort out their problems.
6. Affects parents- child connection
When you shout and yell at your spouse in front of your child, this scares your child. Your aggression keeps them away from you. Once your behaviour creates fear for your kids, they hesitate to share anything with you. Yo will lose that friendly bond with your children.
Kids will feel the difficulty stay with unhappy parents and this is going to be the most tough phase for them to over come. They may not have the same bond as they lost it already. This is not only for kids but also hurt parents.
7. They don’t get attention
When children come from outdoor or school, they look for parents attention. If they see parents fighting as soon as they reach home, they will stop expecting attention from you.
Giving attention to kids up to certain age is crucial part of parenting. Lack of attention makes them moody and unhappy. Thinking that you are giving enough time to your kids is a wrong notion.
As they don’t get attention, it makes them feel isolated and unloved. This is a sad situation for any child to go through. This point must make you realize the impact of parents fighting in front of kids.
8. They lose faith in relationships
This is an impact you will in long run. As they are growing, they may lose faith in relationships. They start believing that relationships are trash. Not all children as it depends on individual’s mindset and circumstances. But there are chances of losing faith in relationships as they always find their parents fighting.
When parents are happy, that makes them believe in relationships. Parents are the best example for kids to know about relationships.
9. They lose respect for you
If your children notice that you saying something hurting to your partner, they lose respect for you. It is the same for your partner as well.
The way you yell, shout and bug on each other can make your child lose respect on their parents. You must know that respect start at home. And seeing disrespecting at home, children may stop respecting their parents.
10. Negative thoughts and feelings
Children get to learn good or bad from parents. They spend most of their time with you. So, if you are showing them negative emotions and uttering negative words, this leads to negativity in them.
Children easily develop negative feelings. The only thing you can do is keeping them away from negativity. You must learn to set everything right at home for your children so that they learn and see good.
How to handle emotions in front of children?
1. Control your anger
Agree that controlling anger is tough but it is much better than impacting your child with anything bad. Before starting a discussion with your spouse, make a promise to yourself that you will control your anger. This will help you stay calm.
2. Discuss instead of arguing
Couples discuss less and argue more. But this must be changed as arguments make it worst. Let your arguments also be healthy and sound like a normal discussion in front of your kids.
3. Don’t forget about children
When the argument is heated up, you may forget about kids even. So, before starting the arguments or leading a conversation with your spouse, you must remember that your kid is watching everything.
You may also tend to take wrong and wild decisions when you are angry. All this happens when you don’t count your children. Again it doesn’t mean you must tolerate the bad treatment. But think before taking any decisions.
4. Parents should come to an understanding
Both parents must decide and come to an understanding knowing that their fights are impacting their kid. When they realize about this, they keep the fights in control.
5. Discuss in absence of your kids
You know when the problem is big or serious. The anger flow comes unknowingly sometimes. So, you better discuss when your child is not at home. In the absence of kids, you can sort out things and make everything normal by the time they come back. You also avoid creating that unpleasant, noisy atmosphere if you are able to sort out things in the absence of your kids.
As family is the base foundation for children, parents must take care of everything around. Until parents are happy, they cant do right parenting. So, before sorting out others issues in life, couples must discuss the relationship issues.
