If you are happy with your relationship, then it must not be all of compromises and adjustments. While you manage to stay happy and maintain the relationship, you may lose yourself. It doesn’t mean, you need to get out of such bonding or attachments but just try to find yourself.
Get engaged with yourself and life before getting engaged to your love. Only this way you can spread love and make it a long lasting relationship. The attachment or bonding where you lose your own self shows you reasons to leave your partner. This becomes toxic and bad for love life. So, you are in need of a simple guide where you can keep being alive, happy and not lose yourself still being in a relationship.
You may also need these relationship advice to recheck yourself on not losing in love. It is better to hold and recheck than fetching yourself all over after totally losing.
What Does It Mean to Lose Yourself In a Relationship?
This is something that happens gradually when you are in a relationship. A few things are right in your hands where you can control and a few are out of control. It doesn’t give you any signal when you are losing yourself. Certain actions and reactions make you realize that you lost yourself.
You will find that major difference where you are completely a difference but not you. Few people also feel this- before and after coming into a relationship. If the change or difference is letting you be happy and a better person, then it is well and good. When it is not what you want or good for you, then you must try to go back to yourself.
10 Ways Not To Lose Yourself In a Relationship
1. Learn about yourself
When you don’t want to lose yourself in a relationship, you must keep learning what you want. The first and foremost thing that you must mind in life is what you want. Every phase of life throws the challenge to decide what you want. So, know your needs and wishes to save yourself from wrong decisions and from taking the confusing steps.
You don’t have to blame yourself or affect your relationship when you know your wishes and needs. Many of us commit mistakes without learning what we want. This is not just a lesson for women in relationships but for anyone who wants to lead life better.
2. Career comes first
Many make this mistake of taking their career for granted when in a relationship. You may think that career options are always there but winning the love is a priority. There are many people who realized that career comes first. It is first and before anything as it decides your future the person you love.
Agree that you can totally keep your love aside. But try to balance your career and relationship. Make time for your relationship in between your work. Partner would understand this and it even helps him to focus on his own life, career.
If you are making your career as a second priority then this is going to hunt you for your life time. Balancing your career and relationship is tough but doing that tough can make you fly in colours. This is how you save yourself from regrets.
3. Do what you love
Do you have any passion that you are living after your relationship? That means you are giving least time and importance to your happiness. It is pleasure to make someone happy. But it doesn’t mean, you have to compromise on what you love.
If travelling was your passion, then just go for it. These little interests and hobbies make sure you stay with yourself without losing. You will know that you are very much on the right path and no matter what you are the same.
4. Be your best version
You must try to be your best version which says you don’t stop for anything or anyone. If you are confident you are being the best version of yourself, it clearly means you are happy with your relationship.
What exactly you are going to gain out of being the best of you- there will be times when you will know the price of being the best. There are many temporary tough times in relationships. You must show up like a strong woman at every movement and phase. It gives you the confidence to walk along when your partner leaves your hand in those tough times. You don’t have to depend on him or wait for him to fill your confidence.
5. Don’t let hurt you
If you are hurting yourself in love or letting your partner hurt you again and again- then you must find a solution for this.
When you are hurting yourself and giving pain, it must be worth it. Until something gives you happiness or satisfaction in return, don’t hurt yourself. It is fine to be selfless but not where you lose your own self.
6. Make your own choices
In a relationship, it is common to get suggestions and advice from the person. He cares and wants you to be on the right side. This is different but what if you don’t get to make your own choices? In this case, you need to make it clear for your partner that your choices and preferences complete you.
For you to become strong and confident, you must stop relying on others choices. At least don’t make it a habit of relying for decisions and choices. You will be stuck at some point of your life where you have your own decision and choice only matters.
If you are noticing this sign, then change it off. You can’t do it like a robot but make a practice of taking your own decisions.
7. Never feel incomplete
What makes you feel complete? This is a wrong question for the people who are in a relationship. As the answer is obvious- “my partner’s presence makes me feel complete”. Again this is not everyone. I know many women raise their hand saying something different from what I mentioned.
It is sweet to hear that your boyfriend’s presence makes you feel complete. But don’t you think you are living only half of your life? If you are seeing your partner as your better half, it doesn’t mean you have to lose the half in your relationship. See that you feel complete with all your sense every now and then to be happy and have a fulfilled life.
8. Go on a solo date
Dancing on duet songs and enjoying melody numbers is super romantic. But to keep this spark or romance alive, you needn’t disconnect from yourself. In fact, you must be more engaged with yourself to share such moments with your partner.
So, instead of going for a couple date, take some time or a whole day for yourself. You can imagine you are a single woman for that day. There are many things that you can do as a single woman.
What difference do you see going on a solo date?
It is a kind of rejuvenation that you need and deserve. You can call it a change to get out the boredom in your relationship if you are facing it. The main purpose of going on a solo date is to know when you were missing in yourself living in a relationship. You realize the realities and you will know what changes that you must bring in yourself too. So, now are you up for a solo date?
9. Your life in your control
If you feel that your life is controlled by someone else, then just come up with the needed action. Take the life remote into your control.
The young girls and people in the initial relationship feel great to be controlled. But it is not the same throughout your life. If you are giving your partner control of your life, this becomes a habit for you both. It impacts both of your lives which is not a good sign.
We don’t suggest, even a woman taking all the control of her man’s life. It is only to show the right path and be a guide when your partner is in need. It applied to both of you to not lose yourselves in love and mess up your lives.
10. Stay in reality
If you want to save yourself from losing in a relationship, then you must be on the real side. The love fantasies make us feel divine until we lose ourselves. So, you must be practical and realistic in the on going relationship.
Keep your eyes open when you are in a relationship. This great quote “love is blind” is not applicable for everyone and every love story.
11. Don’t blame yourself
When you find that you are lost or losing yourself, you blame yourself. Do you think, blaming yourself can set everything right.
Of course, it was all related to you but self blaming is not the solution. That way you would lose more of yourself. So, you must be wise in dealing with it and rectifying your mistakes. Again, don’t go to blame the other side- your partner.
Keep yourself away from just blaming and find ways to run your relationship as you always dreamt and wanted.
Signs Of Losing Yourself In a Relationship
There are some of the signs that you can’t ignore about losing in a relationship. The reason for mentioning the signs is, sometimes you feel it but you can identify or know what is happening. So, check out the signs of losing yourself in a relationship.
● You know that you are compromising
Compromises and sacrifices are an integrated part of relationships. If you are compromising for every other movement, then you are going through something unfair.
If you are compromising again and again, you will know it all. You keep questioning your happiness. You will feel it everyday as it is burdening you and making you feel the discomfort of losing yourself.
● You stay forcibly
If you feel you are staying forcibly, then it is a clear sign of disconnecting from yourself. When you feel, take it as a sign of setting your relationship.
You may want to know how exactly this sign feels- you want to get out of the relationship but you are confused, unsure and doubtful. It doesnt mean the fault is only your partner’s but it could be from both the sides. So, have a check and come to a right conclusion.
● Many unanswered questions
It is a must to raise questions to yourself but it is also important to find the answers for the raised ones. If the questions that are rotating in your mind are unanswered, then it means you are losing yourself or it could be you lost a part of you.
It is still okay to have one or two unanswered questions about your relationship. But what if you have too many unanswered questions? So, have a check how many questions can be answered to find yourself back still being in the relationship.
● You always do pleasing things
This is one of the alarming signs that you must think of and change immediately when you notice. I understand if you are doing it once in a while but trying to please all the time is losing yourself a bit by bit.
Just to make your partner feel happy and fine, you can’t keep cutting off yourself. Moreover, it is not worth it when the person is expecting too much and all the time from your side.
● Insecurities hunt you
This is another sign that says that you are losing yourself in a relationship. The fear of losing your partner freaks you out. Agree that this is not a strange that you are facing in love. But losing a part of you with insecurities and fears is not what you must have in love. It is about some positivity, hopes, dreams and goals that you must chase to be honest.
● You lose confidence
Losing confidence is a downfall in a relationship. Let me tell you, this is a sign of toxic relationship that you must get rid of. Agree that love is not all pf roses and heavenly feelings but it is also not losing confidence.
You may also feel inferior with this sign and then the next is nothing but losing confidence.
Find ways to regain the confidence and if it costs leaving your relationship itself, then think of it.
● No peace of mind
If you are able to feel that you are disconnecting from your own self, then there are chances of losing peace. You become more conscious about your relationship and it also triggers the confusion about continuing it.
When there are confusions and questions that you are not able to solve,this takes off your peace. This is a big sign that you are losing yourself in a relationship.
● You are unhappy with yourself
If you are blaming yourself or unhappy with what you are doing, then it could be a sign of losing yourself. If you are unhappy or angry with what you are doing, don’t let it go the way it is. You must try to change and set it right as soon as possible.
How to find Yourself After Losing Yourself in a Relationship?
The realisations make you feel impulsive or it also results in mental disturbance. But you can get out of this discomfort and pain. See what you can do to find yourself.
● Take a deep breath after realizing or noticing the change. After this feel relaxed knowing that you are not too late. Also know that your life is in your control and you are not all wrong.
● Discuss with your partner about what you have noticed. Together, you may find a better solution. It is also good to take help of your partner but you must have faith, trust in your partner for this.
● Regain your passion and interest which you lost. This is not as easy as said but you must repeat your trials. You will gradually get on the track.
If you are experiencing all these in your relationship, then you must be on point to snatch yourself back. It is not acceptable to lose yourself and go through the hardest even when you deserve to be happy, peaceful and comfortable.