What will you do when one day your teenage daughter or son informs you that he/she is dating? As parents, it’s natural you will get shocked, angry. You might even scold them or even house arrest them.But this is not the solution. Teenage is a phase which has to be handled carefully. One wrong step and your child can take the wrong path. You have to make them understand what they are doing is wrong. Never abuse or physically manhandle your child. This will lead to more situation getting worse and your child might take a drastic step which cannot imagine. Here are some tips how can parents deal with their teen romance.
Handling Teen Love
1Set Boundaries and values
Before such a situation arises, it’s important as parents as a family to set boundaries to speak to your children about the do’s and don’t in a situation like this. To speak about what are your family values. Currently, we all belong to a “global environment” our children are exposed to the very multi-cultural environment. They are bombarded with different ideas about values, about relationships, about many other things. It is important as a family to set certain do’s and doesn’t clarify your family values with your children.
2Downplay your Reaction
3Discuss Negative Repercussions
Speak to your child about the negative repercussions of a relationship, about the breakup and how it might affect her. Because in the long run, you don’t want your child to have issues with low self-confidence or low self-esteem attached to breaking up with this particular person. So, talk to her about what might or might not happen in the relationship.
4Is it Peer Pressure?
Figure out does this going around has something to do with peer pressure in school? What are her friends up to? Invite them home because you need to know whether actually is it your daughter who wants to be in a relationship or whether the group of friends she has is forcing her to be in a situation like this. So, figure out is it peer pressure or is it actually your daughter‘s decision.
Always keep an open door policy. When you are communicating with your children, communicate from a place of love, of respect and acceptance. So, your children can always come back to you with any issues even in the future. So, always learn to acknowledge what is happening in your children’s life with lots of love, with a lot of respect, and with a lot of acceptance and be there for them because that could mean the difference between your own daughter coming to you in the future with other issues or completely shutting down all modes of communication and that could be a very tough situation.
6Talk About Sex
Sex is one topic usually parents fear to talk about. Some are so conservative, that they don’t tell their children about sex. But, every parent is advised to be open and make your child understand about sex, STDs and pregnancy. Your child should have knowledge about what are the consequences. You cannot completely control your daughter’s relationship, but you can talk to them freely and make them trust you. You should indicate that no subject is too uncomfortable to discuss and that you will be open anytime to talk about any uncomfortable situation arises.
Never impose your decisions on your children. You should never order your child that she should stay with the guy or girl he/she loves. The more you shout at them, the more they will get involved in their relationship. You need to explain to them that at that age, there is no love. It is just infatuation and they are just attracted to them. There are chances they will argue and question back as to Why? As a parent, it is necessary that you explain your point out with the practical differences in the lifestyle, and in other areas. Tell him/her that they may not be able to get over breakups.
BY M. DIVYA SRI