Everything seems rosy in love but it is bitter when you see the reality. If you are finding too much bitterness in your relationship, then you must tolerate it. I know the basic fact that relationships are of ups and downs but it is together not the downfall of either of them alone. Do you agree with this fact which I believe? To know more about this and understand it, you must know the things that you are not supposed to tolerate in a relationship.
When you are in a relationship, you realize a few realities later. You can’t even keep testing your love every other minute. But it is better to have a reality check when you are feeling it repeatedly.
You will know what is not to tolerate. You miss yourself and the real you when you are not able to tolerate something in your relationship. So, here we are mentioning something that is very basic in a relationship that is not to go through at any cost.
Open Your Eyes In Love – What Not To Tolerate In A Relationship?
1. Disrespecting Your Feelings and Opinions
Disrespect can be through various actions. It can be by them being dishonest, not giving attention, having sexual and romantic feelings towards others, refusing to give you time, and having their own personal choices and habits. These things arise from bitter experiences and moments. If you ever feel you have had such experiences, it is important to have one conversation with your partner and discuss how you feel and what’s your concern.
In any relationship communication is a successful key that can open doors for better decisions. It is important to have a discussion before taking any quick action. It’s important to make your better half understand how they lack in respecting you and your feelings. This will surely help you solve the problem together.
After having a discussion it’s important to see how things change and how your other half reacts on your problem. You have to observe the way they respond and then you can decide if you have to still be with them or find someone who has the same ideology as you.
2. Physical or Emotional Abuse
Is abusing part of love? I know love is not only being sweet but it is also not to abuse in any way.
Physical abuse and emotional abuse are always about mood swings and patterns of behaviours. This behavior often comes out as domination. This might further lead to controlling and overpowering their partner. If you ever come across such behaviour , then it’s important to understand that it’s a sign for a red flag in a relationship. If you keep calm and continue to forgive your partner’s abusive behaviour it might lead to a sad experience and it’s important to understand that no one should tolerate abusive relationships.
It’s important for you to realize that you don’t deserve such behaviour. Abusive behaviour may make you believe in what your partner says or does, it damages your self-confidence, self-respect, and self-esteem.
When you are mentally drained you start to blame yourself so it’s important for you to discuss with any of your trusted friends or family members. Also try not to accept or forgive your partner and make sure you explain to them it’s their fault. Also try to approach an advocate to know the legal actions to be taken.
3. Restricting Your Growth
It’s always important to observe how you have been building your career and your partners career in a relationship. If your partner is making you feel you aren’t good enough to do something on your own, it means they are restricting you from your growth. If they find your ideas small and silly it means they are limiting you from your dreams and you tend to sacrifice your plans.
These actions by controlling partners are often used to kill your confidence and then you tend to doubt yourself about your talent and hard work. These doubts may lead to stop your self growth and make you be more behold to them.
Rather than simply believing your partner it is important to discuss your future plans with friends or family. It will surely make it better if you can have a clear communication with your partner and know the pros and cons of your idea or plan.
4. Locking You From Socializing
When you want to explore and be something else, nothing must stop you. So, get out of it when you are locked from being yourself.
Socializing is a personal choice for everyone. Everyone needs some amount of social activity and social interaction. Socializing keeps us connected and makes us comfortable with people. If your partner controls you from socializing this may lead to more dependency on your partner, it also leads to them controlling you and your relations.
It’s important for you to understand that connecting with others makes you strengthen your mental health. It’s wise to let them know that you love spending time with them and also explain to them the need to socialize more. If your partner understands this need of yours, then they shall start accepting your socialization.
5. Forceful Sex
Sexual pressure from a partner is sexual assault which is the most unacceptable thing in a relationship. Forceful sex comes from giving authority, unconditional power and dominance to your partner to take over you. This might lead to forceful actions and the
Unwanted intimacy causes emotional suffering and mental breakdown. Don’t have sex in the fear of losing your partner and don’t let this become an habit. Explain your desire to your partner about when you want to get intimate with them. If they can understand this it means they respect you and understand your decisions.
If the pressure for sex doesn’t end up, please move on and get rid of the person. It’s your body and learns to keep it happy.
6. Body Shaming
Why to stay with someone who is not happy with you wholly. Let the man love you for what you are.
If your partner is body shaming intentionally it means they are concentrating more on your body and overlooking your love. Always remember that physical appearance doesn’t nurture a relationship.
If you accept body shaming from your partner it will demoralize you. It is important for you to know that beauty is absolutely about being yourself. Tell your partner that you have zero tolerance for body shaming and make them apologize to you. If this behavior keeps continuing let your partner know that it’s affecting your mental health and learn to move on if they cannot accept you for how you look.
7. Reminding Your Past
Reminding your past love life and about your ex. Not to tolerate when you are reminded or taunted about your past.
Never let anyone define you by your past actions. Everyone has history and we all learn from our mistakes. It’s never a good move in a relationship to taunt you or continuously remind you of your mistakes. This leads to self-shaming and you will start lingering about your mistakes too. It is important for your partner to understand that they cannot judge you for your past actions when things aren’t right among yourselves.
Also question your partner for their blunt behavior and ask them why they are so bothered about your past and how it is related to the present and future scenario. Also let them know that moving on is the biggest success key in any relationship. If your partner still can’t get over your past remember that they aren’t right for you. Don’t be with someone who can make you feel guilty about your past and remember your partner has to make you feel enthusiastic about your future.
8. Making You Feel Inferior
A person making you feel inferior is trying to kill your confidence and negative comparisons are a big no in a relationship. It damages your self-respect and self-esteem. If someone is criticizing you it means they are trying to dig the faults and this makes you feel like a loser. Always learn to respect yourself and self-worth. This comparison may make you believe that you’re less important to your partner and indulges in insecurity forever.
The comparison also says that your partner is attracted to someone else. In such situations discuss with your partner and let them know it’s offending and if they understand it means they are a keeper, if they get worse remember you have to move on and find someone that makes you feel better about yourself.
9. When Hides Your Relationship
A secret relationship can lead to bad consequences once it comes to the limelight. Also hiding a relationship from others may make you feel like there is something wrong with you and your love life. It’s important to question your partner if they are involved with another person, or not completely over their previous relationship. If your partner is hiding a relationship from his closest people remember that your partner is capable of hiding things from you too.
10. No Efforts To Understand You
We necessarily don’t need to understand every act or step of our loved ones. But we need to make efforts to understand when needed. If your partner is not making those efforts, then you must notify him. Tell your feelings out and let him know what he is missing.
You keep giving chances but you must see if the person is even ready to take that chance to change or act. Before you get tired of giving chances, you must realize the reality.
Efforts must be mutual in a relationship. This is one of the habits that matters for a healthy relationship. If you are not seeing the efforts of your partner is not reciprocating, then don’t tolerate it. Give a notice stopping the observations.
11. Keeping Biggest Secrets
Keeping secrets from partners is not a sin. Everyone has secrets which personally matter. What is not to tolerate is, keeping the secrets related to your relationship. Playing mind games and hiding things from the better half is unacceptable.
You are not at loss but you lose trust, faith and love for the person. When you get to know the biggest secrets which you don’t expect, then this becomes hard to digest. If you are getting to know the secrets, don’t react without the complete facts. Know it all, discuss and decide what is good for you. But just let it be as it may come in future again.
12. Fake Feelings and Emotions
If you feel that your partner is faking his feelings for you, then don’t be quiet. You need to get clarity on it. I would like to mention something very important here- fake feelings are not intentional every time. It could be unintentional. For example- the person does not feel the same for you but he doesn’t have a clear idea about his own feelings. Don’t call it emotional cheating when it is not intentional. You must ask a few questions to your partner that give you a clear picture.
It could make you feel different even when it is something else. So, you must get your answer. Ask questions, educate him and then listen up. Not tolerating is not just ending up with separation. It is not letting things go wrong.
13. Not Accepting You As You Are
“Love is blind”- this quote is applicable for different reasons in a relationship. One of the strong reasons is accepting the love with flaws. Guiding and helping the loved ones to do the best is different but taunting or leaving away is not right at all.
If your partner is not accepting your flaws or forcing you to be something else, then you must not tolerate this. This makes your relationship extremely toxic. Relationships last only when the two accept each other’s reality. So, be clear and make it clear for your partner. If there is a need for change for good, then you must consider it as a good intention.
Now you may need a little more clearance on this point. Let me give an example- if your partner wants you to change your style, personality or attitude, then you better be blunt about it. You are beautiful the way you are. Changing over for someone is not worthy, not even in a relationship.
You must open your eyes in love before it’s too late. Stop what’s going wrong and start what’s good for your relationship. Changing a few things without just tolerating can make it better for you and your partner. Let your partner learn it too and stand for each other to make it a happy relationship.
