What can be more difficult for you if you are a woman? Indian society worships Goddesses like Durga, Lakshmi, Kali, Sarasvati… etc. But, often forgets to adore their own daughters, sisters, and mother. Women empowerment is trending rather than a burning issue, according to me. Be it on Facebook or Twitter, people post many opinions about women issues and single women issues. In this article I have discussed five of them.
Unmarried women problems in India.
1Being an Indian Woman
Being a woman is not easy and being Indian adds to it. Of course women all over the world face different kinds of discrimination. India being a follower of Patriarchal society has always treated women in an inferior way. Women are often kept away from the fact that they are equal to men. You always face this, “you are a girl/woman, you should keep your calm” or “you are crossing your limits”.
Being a part of a patriarchal society, women are the biggest enemy of other women. Because, our mothers or grandmothers are the one who always try to restrict us in order to follow the rules of the so called ‘society’. Unless every woman understands how demeaning this patriarchal society is for them, there won’t be a change.
2Being Unmarried or Single
If you cross a certain age say 25, there will be hundreds of people questioning you. These people are your parents, relatives, colleagues and friends. They advise you or send proposals for you. Basically, they do not understand that you are happy being single.
Your parents play the emotional card of “do you want us to go to hell?”. Apparently, parents of a daughter wont get ‘mukti’ (freedom), if they don’t do ‘kanya daan’ (the ritual of giving away their daughter to the groom). All the emotional drama comes on the way, if you are getting older than 25 and still are single. They say you are being picky if you reject several proposals. “You are a marriage material, you know everything to become a good wife… what’s the problem?”.
Well, all the single women out there. Please know that, you are doing the right thing by being headstrong and taking time to decide. Staying single is totally fine and so, is getting married.
3Being a single mother
Motherhood is supposed to be the most beautiful gift of life, for the women who want to become a mother. The same becomes a curse if you are a single mother. Such is our society that, forces few women have children, who don’t want children. And totally disrespects women who are unmarried and have children. Problems faced by single mothers are many.
If you are single and want to have a baby or have one, people question your character. They do not care for the fact that, you are independent or how good you are as a mother. If you want to adopt a child, you are denied that also. Sushmita Sen, the first Indian Miss Universe, was also not socially viewed to obtain the guardianship of a baby, because she was single. She had to fight for her right to become a mother. She is still single and is a mother of two.
Being single is not a crime, being a single mother is not wrong. Hats off to all the Indian ladies like Miss. Sen, who are single mothers and are proud about it. You should be confident and make a way to live a independent life. If you are financially strong, capable and ready to take up the responsibility of a child just go for it with your head held high.
Being independent has many meanings attached to it. According to me, dependence and independence are two sides of the coin called life. For women who are single, being independent is the only way to live happily. Unmarried woman’s problems in India raise only when she has to depend on some one for the financial needs. To get what she wants, she has to work and earn. In the contemporary times, girls are getting educated, but their freedom is limited.
Women who have become successful in life, who are financially independent, have a life. But, our society frowns upon that too, if they are single. Being independent and living alone is one of the characters deciding factor. One of the issues faced by every woman. If you are independent, but you have a husband to live with, its totally fine. But, living alone or being single is not.
If you have a life of your own, you are the ruler of it. To all the independent and single women, consider the society to just be jealous of you. Continue living life king size? No! Queen size.
Having fun, partying, hanging out with friends…etc. This also becomes an yardstick to judge your character. If you are single and love to dress up in bold clothes and go clubbing in the night. If you drink, oh my god! You are a characterless woman, they say. Your safety is also at risk.
Some men, just cannot keep their judgmental eyes off you. The society makes it difficult for you to even go to a party peacefully. Because, “shareef auratain raat ko ghar se bahaar nahi jaati(decent women don’t go out in the night)”.
Partying is good! Good for you to have fun and relax the way you want to. If you love partying, go ahead. You have to be “careful” about the unsafe factors. Wear whatever you are comfortable in and be what you are.
The fact that women have to face all these aspects as issues, is very sad. Because, most men do not have to worry about these things. Men also have problems, but they do not have to think before doing normal things. Not many questions or eyebrows are raised upon them. Their character is not questioned based on the above issues.
The idea, ‘women empowerment’, the need for it is enough to understand the inequality. Not that its wrong. But, why do we need to empower women? If women and men were treated as equals right from the beginning, there would not have been women issues. There would not be any women empowerment required.
By- Roseleen Aind.