Well, to start off with, it is extremely embarrassing to ask your sex questions to someone who wouldn’t be able to understand what you are saying. It might be a tough part in any person’s life. Asking those questions to your mate, may be a difficult task since you are ought to feel weird and awkward about the situation. But, the curiosity that you have, shows that you actually care about your partner and your sexual life. But, if you are wondering about many things that cover sex oriented questions, how to improve your sex relationship, we are here to help you out!
Tips on how to work out sex in a relationship
1Why can’t you orgasm, sometimes
There are situations when you are not able to orgasm? Are you worried if you are the only person who is undergoing such a situation? Don’t! Because there are 80% of other girls who are undergoing the same issue of not able to orgasm every time there is intercourse. Wonder what’s missing? It is definitely something that your partner can help you with. Just intercourse is not always a treat! There are certain other things like oral sex, clitoral stimulation that has to be done to satisfy yourself. If you are finding it hard to get there, speak to your guy about it. It is fine to tell him, but make sure it is quite subtle, so he knows that it is not his problem alone.
Though, you might not have a major hand in this, remember to guide through your guy since he may not find your spots at times. Encouraging words and reactions would be helpful for your guy to know if he is going in the right route or not. A suggested method of having sex will fulfil both your needs.
2How to reignite passion in the form of sex
Sometimes in relationships, there are few drops. When you start dating, you might give in your 100%, but, when time kicks in, you really have no idea where the fun factor vanishes. Every moment in the new found relationship is exciting, fun, thrilling and obviously sexy. As the relationship develops, it becomes a routine and therefore more boring. Once you find the relationship boring, the sex also becomes routine. Sex in a new found relationship is always fun and there is a lot of mystery, excitement and spontaneity.
Planning on date nights and guessing what next would keep your love life + sex, sexier. The problem starts when you start thinking “what, other than this”! This is when you and your partner tend to lose interest. Thus, have a sex list bucket. A list where you want to tell each other something interesting or some kind of fantasy. If you know your fantasy is doable, then drop it in the bucket list. Reignite your passion by bringing in games into the scene. Try strip poker or naked dancing! Stuff like this would help you reignite your passion for each other.
3How to bring interest in having
Always have a two way street when you want to have more sex. Interest in sex is one, making it happen is another. So always try to take the two way street than actually focusing on only one thing. If you want to have more sex, always give and then expect. When you want to get your guy into bed, make sure you do the appropriate things. It often happens that both of you may not be in the same libido levels. That doesn’t mean, he does not want to have sex with you.
Every man’s libido level is wrapped to his head than his parts. You need to flame up the mind first than anything else. Kissing is an overlooked subject that not many couples try to start with. Getting right into action is not the way to go about it. If you are thinking of getting down to business, you might be misconstrued as one of those who wants just physical pleasure. You always have to be very mindful of what you expect and give. Give what is necessary and expect equality. Start slow and developing interest will happen automatically.
4Kick adventure into the bed
Make it a game instead of a game changer. Start an open discussion about what are the things you would like to do. It is sometimes difficult to open up as couples. So, play the game. Truth and darecan be a great way to deal with such situations. Watching porn together is an equally better way to get inspiration from and warm your partner up try new things. If you do not want to say it out loud, always try the visual treat. Tell your partner you want what you see. It gets easier when viewed. If you and your partner are too vanilla, try and start off with slow experimentations. If you are one of those rough couples, try to enter into an I-win, You-lose competition where you can explore. With each scale of positive adventure, give yourself a pat for the idea and enjoy the night!
5Finishing too quick? Ouch!
Yes, this at times can be a huge problem in a relationship. If your guy is finishing extremely quick, it might irritate you. But try to take the less-rough route with him when he is such a situation. Most men experience this in their life. So, you are not the only girl feeling awkward about your guy! The good thing is that, you can ask him to work on it. Rather, you work on it!
Both of you can try doing yoga or meditation. Yes, it works like a magic since anxiety is the only reason for premature ejaculation. So, if you don’t concentrate on what is being done and control your mind, your guy can quite get there. Though, this might not be the only way out for guys who are really quick, you can try alternatives to keep your guy’s little man steady and not rush into the finishing line!
Anal sex is quite the ‘it’ thing. It is considered a tad taboo, but if done wrong, you are going to be cursing your partner! It is sure a pain- in- the- ass (pun intended) situation when done wrong. You can always talk about this to your partner. If you understand that he wants to experience it, talk! Talk about what you have in mind. Every girl predisposes the idea of anal sex even before asked. But you can always give it your shot by taking time and thoughts into it.
You can be straight with your partner if you are looking at doing it. Tell him to be gentle, because first times are always hard! Period! Start with the initial steps of kissing, foreplay and rubbing and then slow intercourse. If you are comfortable with all this, go ahead. Always communicate your pleasure points to him. Guys generally are unaware of the G spots and sensitive touches. So, just say it, because he needs to know and needs to take your help in this. Always be aware of the usage of lube. There is no too much lube when it comes to anal sex. So use as much and end the ride!
There are at times in a relationship, you might not want to tell certain things. Some sensitive things are left unsaid than spoken loud! But when it comes to sex, speak! You do not get it if you don’t say it. Guys are not magicians to find out what you want. So just say it, if you want more! Think of something that you excel at and you want to give your best at it, that is how oral sex is! You give and take when it comes to oral sex. So you better be great before asking for more.
Enjoy what you are doing, or at least act like you enjoy it! The more you give, the better you get. Do not be selfish here. This will remove the initial inhibitions between the two of you. Never dive into the genitals just like that. It is not a pie eating contest, so stop diving straight there. Start with his chest, stomach and then move down. This is something most women go wrong at. The best thing is to tease before you just give it away. Play a little, tease and then bring it on. Once he has had his Big ‘OH MY GOD’ moment, gently just pat yourself and lay back!
8Is his penis too small?
Well, this shouldn’t be a matter of concern. Starting with the facts, anything below 3 inches, isn’t small! So stop having penis anxiety if you are having one! On the contrary, most women are okay with the size the man has. The size has to do nothing with the pleasure you get. If you still feel, it is not all that okay, then amp up the foreplay. You might not want to directly tell the guy about his size, but spend more time in the foreplay scene. You might also want to try various foreplay positions that would help you get your desirable pleasure. You can avoid positions like missionary which might not be one of the orgasmic positions. Instead, try going cowgirl, which will help you get what you’ve waited for.
9Long sex might get tiresome
Yes, it is true that some guys do not get to finish quickly. You might move from ‘oomph’ moment to ‘psh’ very soon. You are feeling sexy, he’s there, you are there, the sex is great, yet you feel that even after an hour, your guy isn’t finishing it! That happens quite a lot and you can change roles sometimes. Try to bring in what is called the ‘role play’ method here. Have a role for each of you and go ahead with it. You can play a teacher, he can be your student or vice versa. You can be the queen and make him your servant. This way, you can concentrate more on other things than just sex. Try new things and mix it up a lot of times. It helps you and your partner keep away from embarrassment. If nothing works out, consider yourself lucky and just enjoy the long rides! Quite simple! Isn’t it?
AW- Pavithra Ravi