Marriage is a holy matrimony that brings two families together. But more than anything, first things stand first always. It is every girl’s dream to get married to a man who not only fulfills her dreams but also understands her entirely and gets what she intends. If you are searching for a dream man through an arranged marriage, then you ought to be cautious. At first, it might be very awkward to meet the prospective person, but when you get into the idea of it, always make a list of things you would want to know about him.
It is one to fall in love and get-to know the person and another to know the person before getting into an arranged matrimony. It comes down to what you want and what you expect from the person. Here are a few crucial questions you can ask your prospective groom.
Top Questions You Can Ask Your Prospective Groom
1Break the ice with basics
It is good to break the ice between the two by using basic questions as your key. Ask questions like – ‘Where did you do your schooling’, ‘what are your hobbies’ etc. It is also important to ask about his favorites and interests. It is wise to figure out a person’s lifestyle, young age and his expectations from his partner. Ask him questions that are not vulnerable and which would let him answer with ease. Do not jump right away into topics of past relationships or number of ex’s he has had. It is not only embarrassing, but also not appropriate to know everything at first. Break the ice, soothe the situation, rub it in and then know it all.
2Is he Okay with a working life partner
This question comes in very handy for you if you are a workaholic or a career oriented woman. It is very significant that you know what kind of a person he is. If he is from a conservative background or if he has a family insisting on a non-working woman, then you might want to see how your impending future would turn out to be. Many men are supportive of a career oriented wife, but it is always better to double check before jumping into a ‘Yes’.
3Know his spirituality
It is always best to find out if the person is religious or spiritual. Know what kind of religion, he follows and if he can adjust to what you have been following or vice versa. Get to acquire more information on his religious beliefs on the family front. It might not be a bigger deal if you are not living with the parents, but it is better to know if you are considering for. General knowledge is not wrong! That too when it comes to the groom’s family, never a bad idea. The more you know, the better it gets!
4Ask him his stay preference
Again, important things come first. Ask him where he wants to stay and live his initial marriage years. Its better knowing it, which will also help you decide your work preference and location as well. The idea and concept of living with parents do crop up in every Indian groom’s mind without a doubt. Let’s face it, everything said and done, they look for a security even at a palpably overage when it comes to parents. If you can adjust, it is fine! But if you are a way-too open minded or self-reliable girl, then figure your priorities and spill out the beans here.
When it comes to foreign relationships, the scene is quite different. Unlike Indian marriages, foreign culture of having an arranged marriage is far from thoughts. Marriage as a concept here stays strong after testing it for a considerable number of months/years of staying together. They know it all! From relationships to love, parents and their culture. But there are still some questions that come in handy before getting into a holy matrimony.
Most of the times, you would know the person, would have lived with him or would have understood the love he has on you. But considering what is called, living for a lifetime with one person means a lot to a girl. You would have dreamt of you walking down the aisle wearing a gorgeous white dress and holding your partner’s hands for a lifetime. Before you go on giving a nod, it is wise to think certain questions and answer it for yourself. By asking some questions to your prospective groom, you have clarity.
5Ask if you can be ‘friends for life’
This question is very important when you think you are getting closer to your partner. Though you feel that it’s the right thing to do, know if your partner does too. Love may fall in many levels. Mature infatuation can be one kind, and you must be aware of this. Ask your partner if he is ready to be friends with you for life which is quite important for a long time connection. A lover can never become your best bud. If he does, he will end up hurting you. But a friend who is your lover can always understand you and will never hurt you. Even if he does, he will make sure that he can repair the hurt, just like he would do while being friends. Make sure he promises that to you without a doubt and then go ahead!
6Being emotionally honest and truthful
It is not wrong to know things about each other when in a mature relationship. It is good to question and demand answers. Ask your partner if both of you are emotionally honest and true to each other. Two people who cannot be emotionally open with each other can never have a true or intimate relationship. You cannot be vulnerable to share and be open emotionally to your partner. With a person you are considering marrying, you must always feel safe.
7Respecting each other’s decisions
In a marriage, things like respecting each other and their decisions are a matter of importance. You should know whether your partner is ready to consider your decision when it comes to family, work, and friends. He cannot control you or your decisions. It is definitely wrong if he does so! So make sure you get answers to such questions.
8Ask yourself
It is good to question oneself sometimes. Most of the important questions are answered by you. Ask yourself if you love the person, if you believe in him, trust his decisions, and trust your decisions. Rework on your relationship, if any of these questions are difficult to answer. You can always postpone if you think you can work it out.
He might be good looking, financially stable, but getting a wonderful looking and lovable future is also the priority. So hold on to the leash of those emotions and get your answers right. Again, questioning doesn’t mean you doubt him or his relationship. It is just clearing the air and taking the right decision. This holds good even for your partner. So always be ready for the gun to turn on you!
-Pavithra Ravi
