It is true and sensible enough when someone says ‘You just say, but never take the same advice’. Do not look at them in disbelief, because it is absolutely true. That too when it comes to relationship advice. Free advice is easy to give but way too difficult to take! When it comes to us, all of a sudden it becomes either funny or ‘Oh no, I don’t want to lose my dignity’. Well, do we think that our so-called ‘practical advice’ leaves the other person with the same feeling?
Relationships are confusing, good, fun, difficult and have thousands of synonyms to go along. There can be 100’s of things you ask your friend to do but can never do yourself. You are just in the urge of pushing your friend into a good/bad/crazy advice. You do not think how it is going to be when you stand in her shoes. When your girl friends reach out for help, give them a sensible way to get out of the problem. Being idealistic is never ideal! Here are 7 popular relationship advices we give, but hesitate to take!
Top Relationship Advices We Give Our Friends, But Dread To Take
1‘Date the ‘nicest man’ –
He may not be a serious lover or person with a fun factor. He may just be a rich guy who has a motorcycle to pick the girl up and take her to a calm serene place that is filled with rose petals and what not! When you count on the ‘nice man’ tag, you refer to his background and he could be perceived as the one who is prospective to get married to and not go on a 2nd or 3rd date! Why would you want to give such hideous advice?
When you are asked on a date by one such ‘nice guy’, you flip! You immediately think how fast this is going and how you can-not-date him! You will suddenly find ways to be not attracted to him and brand him to be a boring one! Would you think you would date that kind of a man? You won’t, you bet!
2‘Probably his perception about you is right’ –
When you know that your friend is under-going some serious relationship issues, you tend to give them your piece of mind, sometimes a really poor piece of your mind. You take your friend’s boyfriend side, for god knows why! You say things like ‘May be he’s right, you should change’. You can say it, but can you hear that for yourself? Wouldn’t you feel like kicking your friend if she takes your guy’s side? Think! Think before you advice.
3‘Do not text him’ –
We say things like ‘don’t text him’, ‘don’t text him when you are somber and lonely’—and ‘no matter what, don’t text him while you are drunk’. Texting ex-boyfriends never seem to be the right idea when you advise a friend, no matter what time of the day or state she is in. Texting an ex only leads to more heartache, you say! And yet, when you get some piece of your friend’s advice on how to ‘not’ text him, it is not always easy to stop you from hitting the “Send” button.
4‘Overanalyzing his texts’-
‘Maybe when he said Okay, he really meant he would do anything for you! Or maybe he said Okay in a very disinterested manner’! Things like these confuse your friends. You would put your rather sleuthing thinking skills to good use when it comes to interpretinga small four letter word that came to her as a text message. You would misconstrue things that may have never been meant to say. When it comes to you, you think and think and never get down to a decision quickly! You not only interpret, but try to find out an inner meaning for that one word!
5‘Decide now, Say yes’ –
This is what almost all of us do! Jump to conclusions from nowhere. You do not know if the guy is a perfect fit. If your friend asks you, you just say yes because he seemed to be a nice man from outside. Giving an quick advice with confirmation, is very common and every girl gives but takes hours, days, months or more months to decide for herself! Is he good? Does he look good? Do you think he is the one to date? Or is he creepy!? Such questions are answered when it comes to you, but for your friend,it’s just ‘SAY YES NOW’! Stop girls, STOP!
6‘Don’t worry about it’
When a date hasn’t called after having the most impeccable time with her, you say “It is okay, don’t worry”! How is that even possible!? While we urge our friends to focus on anything other than what’s causing them worry, we ourselves get lost in CompulsiveThought Land many times thinking various aspects of keeping us self worried.
7“Just tell him how you feel”
Whether you dig a new guy or you’ve fallen head-over-heels for your longtime main man, it’s often difficult to spit out your feelings to his face. More often than not, you’ll find it egging on our friends, encouraging them to shake off their nerves, move past their fear of rejection, and let the love flow. But the second we’re the one in the hot seat, we often clam up and have trouble sharing our feelings.
Remember girls, advising your friend is fine, but make sure you slip into her shoes, think if you would take it and then go ahead! If you wouldn’t, rather skip it than giving a wrong advice! You never will know when your friend might turn that on you or your advice!
AW- Pavithra Ravi